2 Effective Ways To Study More Efficiently

Curious already? Well, I do have to warn you readers that these are merely theories thought up by me during my unproductive periods in university. And granted, if this kinda stuff is coming from me, it’s definitely gonna be something stupid different. But, give it a try if you feel adventurous today, and are open to ideas.

Do you remember when you were a high schooler, when you feel like your classroom is a complete mess, and that the noise from your classmates’ ugly mouths and the teacher’s droning distracts you from studying? I’m sure it’s nothing new. I have friends who tell me that they cannot study in school/university because of the distractions. They would rather go home early and sleep at their convenience, and then study in peace in a routine manner. So yes..

Distraction can be a fat bitch sometimes.

Even the slightest (students coming into lectures late and causing undesired attention) distraction can get in the way of your train of thoughts. That is why it is essential to get the proper environment to study in optimum conditions. Sometimes, it helps to have…

The first way to better studying is, none other than studying in a toilet cubicle. And not only study, but study whilst breathing through your mouth.

1. Study on a toilet bowl
2. Breathe through your mouth

This idea would probably (never) sink into any person’s stubborn mind, given that they believe this might work for them. So other than having sex, masturbating, peeing & passing motion, you can also read your notes or make notes while reading a textbook. In may seem all gross and “damn, it’s so stupid I won’t do it”, but bear in mind that your studying routine is NOT that productive after all. iPods, laptops, nagging from mom are always a bitch. So you can start treating your toilet bowl like your new study table now. You’re safe from any distraction (other than the urge to make poo poo or pee pee). Any average person (boys or girls) should note you have to be comfortable with the toilet bowl, as you are going to spend time with it for the next few hours of studying. (That’s what the toilet bowl cover is for!)

So in this scenario, you walk into the toilet cubicle, lock the door, pull down your pants (and whatnots) then take a seat. It’s your throne study chair from now on. Something to feel proud of, eh? Next, whip out your stationeries and notes and start step 1. and 2. Step 2 is not really an important point, but it keeps you going on for long hours. Breathing through your mouth has good implications, and I can justify them. Firstly, you will not have to sniff your own poo. Lastly, breathing through your mouth means inhaling more oxygen, and therefore, keeps you awake for a much longer period. Period.

We all love multitasking, don’t we? Isn’t this method multitasking? Just get a toilet counter beside you so you can enjoy drinks and hot steaming food while you study! And while you’re digesting the food, you can pee and poo and study simultaneously. Oh God, this has gotta be one of the most productive moments in your life, yes?

Say yes.

Wow, you bothered reading up till this point. Congratulations to you. The next method I’m going to propose is a much lesser theory (but a theory nonetheless). The fact that we all study in a classroom/lecture hall is so given. But this time, it has a bit of twist to it. How does “studying during a lecture which is not yours” sound? If you ask, “Wouldn’t the lecturer chase you out?” my answer would be “No, because they would be busy teaching and being sucked up by the nerdy students in the front row. That, and also making up a good excuse of coming in late in case he/she asks.“ The steps to it are fairly simple:

(i) Enter the lecture hall silently
(ii) Take a seat as far from the lecturer as possible
(iii) Study

Step (ii) is essential. Your aim is clear: you’re not in for the lecture, you’re in for the conducive environment. Notice that none all of us turn into “study mode” once we are in the lecture hall. Why is that? It is actually the pressure from your peers that “once you’re in the lecture hall, STFU and listen, or GTFO.” and also pressure from the lecturer to “get as much jizz gist as you can from my dreadful lecture.” Step 3 kind of flows naturally once you’re seated, since you do not have to listen to the lecturer, and probably the students are either talking behind (which is not that bad, unless it’s gossip) or sleeping or paying attention (in both cases, you’re safe since it is quiet). Study as you might, because the pressure is on you to finish studying within an hour (or two) before the lecture ends and all the students start leaving the lecture hall.

If you feel like staying even after the initial lecture, it’s fine. You can join the following lecture and skip steps (i) and (ii). Who knows, you might learn something about the lecture you’re in, such as engineering terms or medical terms, or even get to see some hot hunks. I mean hot chiqs. You can easily spend at least an hour and get more done than usual. But this theory is not as flexible as the first one, since you are only restricted to university/school environment, as opposed to having your own toilet bowl to sit on for the next few hours of ‘intensive’ studying.

In case anyone’s wondering, these theories are derived from experience. So yes, it worked for me. And yes, they were ridiculous and stupid and funny at the same time, but they provide nothing my study table can provide (plus points if you get what I mean). Be warned though, these methods do NOT work for nerds.

Picture Credits: Lifehack.org, Ariadne.

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Brighter Than Gems: Happy 20th Birthday

EDIT: Added 2 birthday wishes from www.soshified.com

"holy shit. i forgot my own birthday!"

...to Stephanie Hwang Mi Young.

4 years old.

I bet there will be millions of other well-wishers out there who are equally excited about today as I am. But I think the one who truly would be thrilled to have seen you grow up would be your mom. You mentioned that you wished for a time machine. A time machine that takes you back to fifth grade, so that you can meet that special someone. And I bet I know who that dear one is.

2007.

You have grown up to be an independent person and had seen the shittiest out of the criticisms, yet you stood firm, erect and unaffected. Maybe even carefree. It's heart-wrenching to see you away from family for the past 5 years. If anything, it only made one like you more resilient and hardworking. I like that about you.

And when every winter comes, it's obvious that you spend Christmas without family , but bear in mind that the rest of the members ARE family. Just don't get on their nerves every time with your constant screaming everytime Jessica makes her nightly trips to your bedroom singing even while at the shower. You're only human; not a faulty jukebox.

"Say what?" "Yes, we had teh secks last nite."

Lastly, have a wonderful birthday, and I hope you have lots of sex fun with Sexica Jessica. It's only 4 days before your 2nd anniversary. So go ahead and make babies have a whale of a time with the other members. That is, if they don't decide to treat you like shit as part of a prank leading to your birthday.

Please stay healthy, and behave yourself well. 2009 is your year.

You deserved it.

EDIT: Seng Aun @ Soshified

Happy 20th birthday, Tiffany! I love the times when you log on to Soshified to check on us and also to update us on how the girls are doing. I find it amazing that it's been 2 years since you guys last debuted (LOL I'm talking as if giving my '2nd soshi anniversary' message) but how much have you grown! It's good that you've lost all your baby fats in your cheeks and that you keep changing hairstyles (what? it's a good thing!) and how hardworking you have been, practising your singing everyday prior to performances. Just rest your voice now and then before you get the nodules again. It's not what anyone wants, I'm sure. What I really like about you is that you are a Leo through and through. Creative in your song renditions, your outgoing nature makes you a people magnet for good reasons, fiery at times and yet so self-assured of yourself during performances. And you mentioned that your dream is to have a time machine so that you can go back to 5th grade to meet someone. I really admire your willingness to correct your mistakes, although sometimes people say that you have fail to learn from them. And you handled those criticisms from others about your parents very well. Because honestly, if I were in your shoes and being piled up with these sorts of pressure, I'd be forced to quit the entertainment industry and pursue my education. That shows that you are really a strong person, more bold than some, but still harbours a weak frail heart inside. But then again, with your commitment in album promotions and the amount of performances day in, day out, I really have to give proper credits to you. I don't know how well the album promotion will turn out, given competition, but that is not what matters. Today is your day and solely yours. Your worries shouldn't get in the way. And lastly, I really hope you will find inner peace as well! Cheers.

(Isaiah 26:3)

http://bit.ly/zPeUl

JeNyJeTi. @ Soshified

Dear Tiffany Hwang,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I wish I had taken interest in this wonderful group, SNSD, a lot earlier when they debuted.
I remember first seeing Tiffany on television.
I just came upon a channel that my parents bought (?) and Music Bank was on.
That time, I never knew a Korean music program/show existed, so I HAD to watch it.
Then, there comes SNSD. Unfortunately, I can’t remember the song they were performing but it was either Kissing You or Baby Baby.
One girl especially stood out to me. It was a girl in a red hat, and her name was Tiffany.
I remember thinking, “Wow. This girl is really pretty..”
And I had a thing against girl groups that time, especially SNSD because I was thinking to myself, “What are these 9 girls planning to do? Too many members, not happening for them.” But as soon as I saw Tiffany, I wanted to find out more about her and SNSD.
Some days/weeks later, Star Golden Bell came on with a SNSD special.
There, Tiffany was again. That’s where I found out her name and that she was from America.
And for sure.. she had the brightest smile ever.
But my interest for Tiffany and SNSD were cut short when I stopped watching television and going on the computer because of my parents’ sudden asian-ness.. wanting me to study.
Then when I finally did pay off with my studies, I was right back on the computer
I totally forgot about SNSD after my parents cut me off.
It was a few months later that I heard about SNSD again. That’s when Gee came around.
My friends (I go to like a 50%+ Asian (Specifically Koreans) school) was singing “Gee Gee Gee.” That time, I was like.. “Korean songs are LAME.” But then Gee was getting huge so I decided to check out what all this was about.
I went on youtube and checked out “Gee.”
It hit me right there. I was like, IT’S THEM. I didn’t recognize Tiffany cause of her hair but when I got into SNSD/ joined soshified, I found out that the girl in the red hat was Tiffany. I thought that she was really pretty.
After learning more about SNSD, I learned that Tiffany was a really bright girl, unafraid of what she does, and a very thoughtful girl.
Finding about her mother, I felt emotional. That’s what made me love Tiffany more.
In order to show her mother in Heaven that she gave birth to a beautiful girl, she worked hard.
There were times when she probably wanted to give up, but she kept on going.
Tiffany’s mother’s voice sings through Tiffany’s voice. There’s so much emotion, and to me it’s more about the emotion than skill.
Tiffany, you are..
An inspiration,
A hard-working girl,
Your smile brightens up my day
I will support Tiffany and SNSD. Through the thick & thin, I'll always be there rooting for these special girls
I love you, Tiffany ! & HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
T I F F A N Y S T E P H A N I E M I Y O U N G H W A N G

http://i28.tinypic.com/15f4y8n.jpg)

credits: www.snsdkorean.wordpress.com

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[Edited] 17th July: What I Really Wish For This Year.

Edit: Added a new link just below [2008 post]. Enjoy!

(Just a heads up: This birthday post marks the 300th post in boozers.blogspot.com. What a milestone!)

[2007 post.]

[2008 post.]

[Sherwin’s post ]

2006

3 years ago, I celebrated my sweet sixteenth birthday at my place. That was by far the best birthday celebration. For me, at least. My wish then? To become a professional football player.

That wish came true made everybody laugh at me.

2007.

The following year, 17th birthday. Sherwin bought me the perfect birthday present. GROW baby milk powder for age 1-3. FML.

Thanks MILF.

My wish then? To become a well known novel writer. This time, nobody laughed at me. Ha ha!

2008.

Last year, 18th birthday. My first ever surprise party! I was finally legal for an orgy many things. I was happy. I was gay. I was infatuated. I loved the juices of life. My wish then? To grow up to be a better everything; from being a better son, a better brother, a better footballer, a better writer, and a better friend. I think I accomplished half of some and none of the rest. But I was never fully satisfied.

This year, my 19th birthday. I inaugurated it by talking a long walk around my condominium blocks, shrieking aloud to random songs and taking everything in easy. Ok, If you thought this was weird, I don't know what else to say.

My wish now? To have a daughter/younger sister to spoil. W-whaat? If you think this is weird again- okay nevermind.


Credits: Sherwin, Nadia , Angeline & Whay Ying , Krisyanth, Sidney, Nicholas, Jake, Teck Juan,
for the birthday presents. (and those whom I have forgotten, much thanks) [Continue Reading...]

The Epic Fried Chicken Pilgrimage.

Fried chicken - it's better than porn.

Admit it. You love fried chicken. Your daddy loves fried chicken. Even your ah ma loves fried chicken.

Why is that? Is has been a compelling question that even scientists and philosophers of the 21st century cannot answer. This is because EVERYONE surrender themselves to the awesomeness that is fried chicken.

Fried chicken in popular culture:

"Harland, that's not chicken you're holding..."

I think Colonel Sanders proved that..

Fried chicken is universal. Embrace it and shut up.

Wait, there's no chicken ass?

Warning: the following pictures of fried chicken might stimulate your saliva glands. Either that or induce vomitting.

I remember blogging about fried chicken last time. That was the first time I ever tried and fell in love with the fried chicken there. That was before I became officially fat. It is appropriate to phrase that the discovery of fried chicken changed my life. Physically.

Chicken backside on a stick.

I am not a teacher. I am not here to teach you how to eat healthy. There are plenty of slimming centres around for that purpose. I come here to enlighten and remind you of your first love. Your childhood is filled with Pokemon cards Transformers, not eating veggies, playing yo-yo, and annoying the hell out of your parents. But there is but one memory that every one of us have obvious overlooked, and that is eating fried chicken. If you come up to me and say that you have NEVER eaten fried chicken in your life before, I can also say that Megan Fox is a woman or Malaysia is a first-world country.

The average amount of fried chicken eaten on every visit.

I would be a hypocrite if I said that I fell out of love for fried greasy chicken when I discovered French fries. Sure, french fries are crunchy and long and oily and delicious and unhealthy, but how can a small, young, fat, ugly, greedy boy like me live in denial? This boy stopped eating fried chicken for a long time simply because there was no other fried chicken that could beat KFC. And then, a friend of mine introduced me to a quaint, old, dark, filthy fried chicken place in humble Klang Jaya. I have grown fonder of that fried chicken place ever since then. Even my parents were worried about me going out almost every night, because they suspected me doing naughty things.

They were right.

Klang Jaya is the Mecca for all fried chicken lovers. That includes EVERYONE. (And you thought there was nothing in this world that everybody loves) If you have been to the place I mentioned before, you might wonder why the chicken size is smaller than KFC’s. Well folks, KFC chickens are not natural. In layman terms, ALL KFC chickens have undergone surgery, just like us. The only difference is that the chickens did not ask for any plastic surgery, but we did. Now you know why the breasts in KFC are huge? (No, I am not talking about the customers, thank you)

Coke - your best friend when eating smokin' fried chicken.

Fried chicken pimp.

The price for KFC chicken is around RM3. Whereas the price in Klang Jaya is RM2.40. That’s right. You pay extra 60 cents for hormone-injected chicken. In KFC outlets, they give you popcorn chicken. In Klang Jaya, they give you chicken ass. In KFC, they give you Coke/Pepsi only. In Klang Jaya, they give you 100 Plus (in case you get tired eating). Hell, I’m purposely inadvertently advertising the fried chicken place.

Fried chicken skin.

You watch all those KFC advertisements where the working woman uses a carrot as a substitute for a dildo phone when her boss caught her red-handed trying to buy groceries to cook for a family. What message are they giving out? YES! Convenience. Fried chicken cooks 10 times faster than ‘double/triple boiled soup with chicken’ as well as killing you providing growth hormones 10 times faster. With that said, I think my ‘not-so-subtle’ statement is clear. I love fried chicken. You love fried chicken. Your friends love fried chicken. Your dogs love fried chicken. Eat fried chicken and die early everyday.

This is obscene.

Simply put, fried chicken is an orgasmic food that promotes growth (proteins!!) What better way to eat and grow sideways taller! I am living proof.

Annoyed yet?

Getting sick of it already? I know. Me too.

Photos & pictures Credit: Urbandictionary, thewondercast.com, barfblog, Wikipedia.

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I Was Once An Actor: How You Can Get Your Act Right.

"Sweetie, why are we here?"




Parody: " Sweetie, there are people looking at us... "

This year's Easter, I had the chance to act in a play called "Shattered: The Musical". It was written by Iri, one of the leaders in church. Now, I'm not trying to boast around. This is something I should be proud of ever since I escaped death twice when I was a kid. This whole act revolves around me trying to harvest Energons to destroy the world a female orphan who fell in love with a dude from another village, and their love quickly turned to lust trouble when the girl's father, who is a pimp the chief of the village found out about the scandal relationship and captured the boy before he was brutally raped killed. Naturally, the girl then becomes emo sad, but then finds the heart to forgive her own father. Anything after that is history. Personally, I don't really get the plot, but as they say, this kind of tragic love story always gets good ratings and applauses from the audiences especially with me inside. Ok, enough of the gist. On with the trivia!

Practice session. Yes, I am the one one with the huge ass, Sam.


PLUS POINT: Having a killer stare like us helps your acting career. Immensely.

It's not talent. It's the sense of humour.

Girls with swords. I dig!

With one whole month of practices (and also the fact that I acted in another play during Form 5 for Nature Week) under my belt, I share with you my infinite wisdom. If you see all actors and actresses, what do they have? That’s right. They have the confidence. The difference of having confidence and not having confidence is how fake you look on screen. Being fake is to TRY to fit into your character, yet not doing it full-heartedly. That means, you are still self-conscious about yourself. In short, you fail. So, if you have self-esteem issues, try practicing alone in front of the mirror. Or go for plastic surgery.

A smile is always essential. Always.

Wow you’re still reading! The second thing a good actor/actress has is undoubtedly his/her attractive body. Come, you may deny this fact and say that there are lots of people out there who are not physically attractive yet they are famous onscreen, but I can tell you that there are also porn stars who fail to make it big in the adult film industry because they did not go. It is only in rare cases that actresses get famous solely for their talent. Other young girls become famous although they cannot sing. That’s tragic. What you can do to your body is to eat healthy food like Twisties & Cheezels for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and supper. Listen to your mother! If not you will go to hell. They are forever right.

Cheryl giving the "more drama for your mama?" pose.

Acting FAIL: digging nose during the play.

If you are a potato couch who is crazy about dramas like 90210, One Tree Hill, Desperate Housewives, Malaysian politics, you are in luck. You should have noticed then that these stars of these dramas start young. No, I am not referring to Disney Channel’s pedophilia policy. There are people who start showing up in movies as cameos before they ripen and star in blockbuster movies. Of course, a scandal or two is a plus if you want to be famous. Yes, go have sex. The next day, your pictures will be in the internet, and before you know it, you become as famous as Vanessa Hudgens or Zac Efron. At least, that is what Hollywood encourages.

You might ask: " Seriously, what is with the pink bandana? " I have no answer to that.

Gay sarong man & co. VS Freddy Krueger. We're in deep shit.

The last criteria that is required of anyone who has impossible dreams is: a poor background. Aha! Why, you ask? From my fabulous observation thus far, I would say that those who come from a deprived family naturally have the balls to do things that the “so-so” or “well-to-do” people dare not. Of course it is so! What do these poor people have to lose? They already have nothing. So, they dedicate their time to acting and going for auditions after auditions and BAM! You have people like John Travolta, Julia Roberts, or even Akon. Well, he’s not technically an actor, but I swore I saw him acting in The Gods Must Be Crazy before. So, if your parents can afford you high school, college, and university, you might as well forget about fame. There is a reason why this world has equality.

Cupid existed a long time ago. There's proof.

( speaking of Akon, well, guess who The Gods Must Be Crazy star is? Lo and behold, N!xau. Russell Peters was right! )

Goodness me. No wonder people like me never make it far in life. Thank you for reading!

Remember this face. It will be in the silver screens. Or your nightmares.

Picture credits: Lih Tyng, Irin, Eugene, Uncle Johnnie @ Facebook.

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